A Wife's Secret To Happiness
***Today's post is a little bit different because I am a contributor for this!
Never heard of it? It's not too late to join! I'll post links to join in today's post.
Do you have a Godly husband?
See now? Some of you have already eye-rolled and are thinking of some pretty witty, sarcastic comebacks to that question. There are many other ways you could describe your husband besides Godly, am I right?
I’m going to be honest. I’m right in the middle of my own book launch and my husband and I are building a house right now and so I had a tinge of regret after I agreed to contribute to this blog tour before receiving my copy of A Wife’s Secret to Happiness. I felt a sense of dread for over-commiting myself for this tour simply because, I don’t have the time.
But I’m telling you, ladies! I’m only two chapters in so far and I promise you, You don't NOT have the time to read this little treasure and I’m so glad I found it in this big wide universe. After breaking in the first few chapters, I’m pleased as punch to be here writing for the blog tour because, this book, you guys. If you haven't followed the tour so far, no worries! Order on Amazon now and you’ll get all caught up in a jiffy.
Chapter Two, The Blessing Of A Godly Husband could not have reached me at a more perfect time.
There were several gems I could gush about, but since I can’t plagiarize the whole chapter, I’ll give you my personal top 3 Take-Aways.
Me & This Guy
Here’s a little background of where I was mentally when I picked up to read this chapter. Last week I wrote an article for my upcoming book release that was published for a more broader audience than my usual, loving, loyal blog readers.
I had faced so much criticism that week for writing a book about recovering from infidelity that my husband and I faced several years ago in our marriage. God has since restored our relationship, offered forgiveness and has blessed our marriage abundantly, lavishing us with grace, excessively so. But people, they hoard grace sometimes.
I picked up Jen’s book this week with a pit in my stomach from all the negativity I’d picked up during the aftermath of that post. I was weary and worried about the future of releasing such an intimate book into an unforgiving world.
Jen’s words poured into my soul like salve. I found myself giggling out loud, empathizing, circling, underlining and scribbling notes along the edges. I stood at the bar of our kitchen and read certain parts out loud to my husband.
I realized as I read, I had been nervous about how the world would receive us, a Christian couple who dared stay together after an affair, the unpardonable sin! But this paragraph from Chapter Two? It snapped me out of my worry:
“When I go up against life’s obstacles, daunting circumstances shout back at me, Oh yeah? You and what army? It’s me and this guy, I motion. As partners for life, we fight as a team. Through our unity we come under the banner of the King of Kings, so it’s Heaven’s warriors you’ll contend with. You little bullies don't stand a chance, even in the craziest of circumstances.”
My husband and I are healed from past wounds and today we get to enjoy the fruits of a restored marriage, so all of my worry? It was not fear of within our marriage. I was being consumed with what other people’s opinions were about our situation. Instead of going to my husband first for his covering and blessing, I was looking for it externally, outside of our strand of three. (See Chapter One)
My husband is here to be a covering for me, to protect me, and to lead me. When I was seeking that outside of him, I became overtaken by worry and got all sorts of wonky.
My Best Friend
Jen fixes this in chapter two. She calls it taking off your running shoes. She rightly points out that when circumstances present troubles, we often run everywhere but to our husbands first. I SO DO THIS. I have a few trusted girlfriends on standby for emergency coffee breaks, or spare keys hidden in front lawns, or *favorites stored on my home screen as my go-to places to turn to first. I’ve even thought to get a church pastor on the phone before directly going to my husband first. Why do I do this?
“Do I see my husband as….one who can partner with the Holy Spirit to bring proper application of God’s Word in my life? Or do I turn to other people for advice and consensus first, coming to my husband to share my completed plan, without asking God to seek God with me?”
It’s not that my husband is incompetent, or inattentive, or that I’m purposely trying to dismiss his leadership, but I’ve definitely gotten my #wifestyle habits twisted in this area. My husband has showed true strength, humility and leadership in the years following our marriage imploding and then finding redemption and reconciliation and starting fresh.
So then why do I lace up my running shoes and go everywhere else for approval, correction, and counsel before submitting myself under his leadership first? A husband’s leadership is not to rule over me or to control me, but to shield and protect. There’s a certain amount of safety I’ve been running from.
“If I wanted a godly husband, I’d stop disqualifying him from the leadership role in my life and encourage him to walk in it.”
The Home Disadvantage
Jen points out Jesus was not very effective in his hometown of Nazareth. Jesus is always the same, so don't misunderstand. But he didn't do many miracles there like he did in surrounding areas. The people of his hometown did not believe in him simply because….they saw him around too much. They became too familiar. They were unimpressed, so less inclined to believe in him. “Oh, that’s Jesus, we know him, the carpenter’s son.”
Similarly, we can discredit our husbands because of the same familiarity. We see it all. We get used to our husbands, we become familiar and unimpressed with stinky breath and poor table manners, or whatever it is that doesn't look like a Disney movie. However…
“Your man is charged with authority to do you good and some of us are stuck like doubting townspeople.”
There’s just so much good truth here, you guys. “While a husband may falter in many ways, a wife can decide to receive him as an authority figure in her life.”
I walked away from Chapter two with a thankfulness in my heart for my man. And a desire to live in a “venti” portion cup, not a “short” portion of God’s favor in my marriage. (Yes, she talks in coffee terms, I LOVE THIS GIRL.) I don't want to take for granted the gift of being husband and wife. Thank you Jen, for all the golden nuggets of truth. Diving into your #wifestylin ideas was like getting a wiff of a piping-hot plate a waiter is carrying past my table and realizing, I want that.
Well guess what? We can have it. Thanks for the tools and the reminders.
What about you? What are some areas in your own marriage where you are still settling for a short cup? This book is all about the blessing of marriage. Don't settle! Ask God to pinpoint areas for you to improve as a couple.
In the meantime, I hope you order the book, catch up and join us as we continue reading A Wife’s Secret to Happiness.
*Let me know if you'd like me to add you to the Facebook book club group!