My Husband Had An Affair But By The End Of The Book You'll Love Him
“You know that last episode of This Is Us where you kind of start to hate Jack Pearson for a minute but by the end of the episode you love him again?”
My husband said as we talked about me posting this blog today. Then he added, “Hopefully this news will be received like that. This is our This Is Us moment." Then he came up with the title for today’s post.
If anything, I look like the jerk for writing a book exposing my husband’s affair. But wait! Stay with us for a minute.
Let’s just come out with it already. My husband had an affair and I wrote a book about it.
Sorry for that cringeworthy line. I have to say that to say this: The book is not what you think. I mean, if you are thinking the book is a Jerry-Springer tell-all then no, it’s not what you think.
I sat at Paper City Coffee previewing my upcoming book launch schedule, when I struck up conversation with someone. She thought she knew what my book was about. When I casually told her it was about my near-collapsed marriage she sat stunned. “Oh.” She said looking a bit dazed. “Someone told me it was a fiction book based out of Genesis; Like sort of loosely taken from the Creation chapter but you added fairies and stuff.”
I sat amused, and also feeling guilty. Amused, because, just what the what? And HOW did this become a rumor? But guilty because I’ve been blogging for a year now on my website and have shared zero book content with my readers. I've left you in the dark, and you happily truck on with me week after week. #bestfollowersever
In this post I will explain why the silence and then reveal all the details you need to know to de-bunk the hipster-alternative version of the Creation-fiction-book that never was.
I’m not sure what I expected. I knew this day would come but it always seemed so.…in the future.
At the end of 2013 I began writing, and when I stopped in March of the next year, I had written an entire book. Fast forward to present: I’ve signed the contract. I’ve created the “platform." I’ve asked for endorsements. I’ve created the space needed to share. And now I’ve done everything but actually share about what happened.
Today I conferenced with the VP of marketing director for Zondervan Publishing, and I was told it’s time to move forward with promotions. That’s the green light that all of this preparation has been leading up to….It's time to tell people what the book is about.
But, like this? Now? It’s the future, already? The book comes out June 27th! You can pre-order it on Amazon and Barnes & Noble already. So it shouldn't catch me off-guard that it is time to start sharing about it.
But this book? It’s deeply personal. It is my life I’m sharing with you. And that involves the lives of my family, too.
I will press “post” to this announcement today to no fan-fare. I’m not sure how I imagined my “coming out” to be, but maybe not so….reticent. Once I press this button I can't go back and un-tell my story. So this next step seems monumental.
With this one simple post, I’m raising my hand and outing myself as a statistic. A member of the 41% of marriages who has suffered infidelity. If you haven’t experienced it, it hurts worse than you think. The A-word is ugly and messy, a dirty little secret.
Why do I share this deeply personal story with the world?
Remember in Acts 20 when Peter and John said “….we cannot help speaking about what we have seen and heard”?
See, I met Jesus during that season of pain & healing. Only by telling you my story can I accurately articulate the realness of this great big, grace-filled God I found in that gutter.
I wrote my story because I was literally and simply amazed at God's present nearness, and his power that is still so relevant today, even in my own personal trauma. To find the gospel to be true and competent in my real life has been the greatest adventure of my life.
The isolation I’ve enjoyed these past few years of writing, slowly building a blogging audience, and awaiting the book launch, has had the opposite effect you would think isolation does. This time of reflection and communion with Jesus has been a sacred, life-giving time.
I know that time is not ending. I’m never willing to let that go again. But it is time to expand that circle. To invite others in. Pardon me if I squirm a little in transition. I realize it might be uncomfortable at first, but you are welcome here. Come near, get settled in, and we will swap stories- not just ancient Biblical texts, but about what God is up to today, in your life, and mine.
So far, this has been my secret to cherish. Not the affair, no. I’ve let that go. But the beautiful surrender that led to a unprecedented time of healing and communion with Jesus.
To keep the goodness of Jesus to myself feels like hoarding and such a waste of redemption and the truth that mercies are new every. single. morning.
HE holds not just he power to forgive, but provides the power to LIVE. We can live abundantly, every day, despite our circumstances. That's good news!
If you’ve been joining in on the blog, thank you! You hold a dear place in my heart, truly.
Ready for the big reveal???? Just look at that cover!
Isn't she beautiful?
What the enemy intended to be my darkest hour, what he planned would push me beyond all hope, just gave God a platform to shine. Funny, isn’t it?
I'd love for you to sign up to be email pals before you leave. Feel free to stick around and read through the blog for a bit. We have other adventures going on too, like building our shipping container home.
Thanks for stopping by. It was nice to meet you. I hope you come back. ❤️
~Shauna & Micah
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