I have an addictive personality. Whatever I am into at the moment, I am ALL IN. When I started running I was not content putting in a mile a few times a week. I wanted to run marathons. I spent countless hours training & obsessing right down to the attire to the meal planning.
When I am on a project or a job, I tend to "take over" or micromanage. This must be a very endearing trait for my co-workers.
When I visit Pinterest, I drain my bank account and stay up all hours of the night tinkering. Last year every single person I know got varying scents of crock pot soap for Christmas. You can imagine the delight.
Please no one recommend to me any seasons of anything on Netflix. I can't wait a reasonable amount of time after the cliff hanger end scene. What happened?! I need all the information now. Get into my brain!
For this same reason world events overwhelm me. Why do we have so much food here and so many people still die every year from hunger? Why are foreign leaders blowing up their people and we sit comfortably binging on Netflix? Why is human trafficking still a thing in 2015 and such a secretive darkness that has not been completely eradicated yet? Why?! We could all come together and not sleep, make plans, and fundraise. We can fix all the things! Rah!
As an addictive personality I spend every last one of my energies on whatever project I am working on. Then I am spent. I become overwhelmed and hyper-aware of my short sightedness and shortness of reach. No matter how much of myself I give, I fall numbingly short. The myriad of worldwide issues persist while I spin on my hamster wheel.
What can I do? This realization is devastating to an a.p. We want to fix. We want to tinker. We want to be busy. There's so much work to do.
Then fall comes. All the busyness of healthy working green leaves begin to fade. They turn into brilliant pops of colors. The fallen hues crunch and wither making a stunning path into a forest of quiet and calm. Crisp fall air is a recharge. Is it ok to walk? To wander? To slow down and just breathe?
As I manage the busyness of this morning I keep hearing the phrase, Fall back. Retreat.
Ecclesiastes talks about seasons, that they are in order. There is purpose for them. I think of Moses, a man whose reach expands beyond any imaginable distance. An entire race was in his care, depending on his guidance. He constantly had to be aware of his task. Thwarting off attempts of mutiny within the camp, providing structure and order to a generation who had to create their own government system on the run, without even a homeland to be planted.
Talk about an insurmountable task. As an a.p. I can't even imagine how I would have handled that kind of crushing responsibility.
But Moses, he falls back. He retreats. He didn't let the chaos control him or the tasks overwhelm him. He retreats to a place of quiet. He goes for a walk and climbs a mountaintop. He knew it was not only o.k. to do so, but absolutely necessary. He walked away from all of it. He realized in himself, he did not have the capability of handling such a task. To do the most, he did nothing.
In the walking, in the waiting, in the retreat, Moses met with God.
His tactics worked.
We cannot discredit this meeting. May I suggest this was possibly the bravest and most pivotal thing he did in his career as a leader? If you don't meet with your boss, how do you even know what you're supposed to be doing?
It is that time of year again, where it is not only o.k. to fall back, but necessary. As a fellow a.p. this seems counter-productive; stopping work to accomplish more. Yet God has provided such an enticing backdrop for quiet meetings.
Fall back. Retreat. Re-group. Make this a season of meeting. Of purposeful restoration, clarity and peace. From one a.p. to the next let me encourage you. It's o.k.